Female Gym Employee Unsure How To Tell Woman She Moans Loudly When She Runs
I never expected one of the most awkward conversations I would ever have at work to involve telling a gym member that she made unusually loud noises while running on the treadmill. I work at a busy gym where I deal with all kinds of people every day. Some members listen to music, some talk to their friends, some train quietly, and others are extremely vocal when they exercise. Usually, none of it bothers me because everyone has their own workout habits. A few weeks ago, however, I started noticing one particular woman who regularly used the treadmills during the busiest part of the evening. She was clearly serious about her workouts and would spend a long time running at a high intensity. The problem was that whenever she increased her speed or started getting tired, she would make loud moaning and grunting sounds. At first, I assumed it was just something she did occasionally because she was pushing herself. But after seeing her several times, I realized it happened throughout nearly every workout. The sounds were loud enough that people on nearby machines would sometimes look around to see where they were coming from.
At first, I wasn’t sure whether I should say anything at all. I didn’t want to embarrass her or make her feel uncomfortable while she was exercising. Making noise during a difficult workout isn’t necessarily inappropriate, and I knew that some people naturally breathe heavily, grunt, or make sounds when they are putting in a lot of effort. I also didn’t want to become the employee who walks up to someone and tells them how they are allowed to exercise. However, the situation became more noticeable as time went on. Other members started reacting to the noise. I saw people taking out their headphones and looking toward the treadmill area, while one person actually moved to another machine farther away. Nobody complained directly to me, but their reactions made it clear that the noise was affecting the atmosphere around the treadmills. I mentioned it casually to another female employee, expecting her to tell me I was overthinking it. Instead, she said she had noticed the same thing and had also wondered whether someone should politely mention it. That made the situation even more awkward because now I knew it wasn’t just something I had imagined.
The hardest part was figuring out how to approach the woman without making her feel ashamed. I considered several ways of saying it, but every version sounded uncomfortable in my head. I couldn’t exactly walk over and say, “You moan too loudly when you run,” because that would sound incredibly personal and possibly humiliating. I also didn’t want to imply that there was anything wrong with her breathing or exercising intensely. My goal wasn’t to criticize her workout. It was simply to let her know that the sounds were unusually loud and were distracting other members. I waited for an opportunity when she wasn’t in the middle of a run. One evening, after she finished her treadmill session and was wiping down the equipment, I approached her and asked if I could mention something about the gym environment. I explained that this was a little awkward for me to bring up, but that I wanted to give her a heads-up because I would want someone to tell me if I were accidentally disturbing other people. I carefully explained that when she ran at high intensity, her vocal sounds could be heard quite clearly across the treadmill area.
She looked completely shocked at first. For a few seconds, neither of us said anything. Then she asked me if people had been complaining about her. I told her that nobody had formally complained, but I had noticed several members looking over or moving farther away. I emphasized that I wasn’t saying she couldn’t make any noise while exercising. I explained that grunting, heavy breathing, and occasional vocal sounds were normal, especially during intense workouts. The issue was simply the volume and frequency. She seemed embarrassed and apologized several times. She told me that she had no idea she was making that much noise and assumed the music and other gym sounds covered it. I reassured her that she hadn’t done anything terrible and that I only wanted her to be aware of it. I also told her that if she needed to make noise while pushing herself, she shouldn’t feel ashamed about exercising hard. She seemed relieved that I wasn’t judging her personally.
What surprised me most was how positively she handled the conversation after the initial embarrassment. The next time I saw her at the gym, she was still running on the treadmill, but she was noticeably quieter. Later, she came over and thanked me for telling her instead of letting her continue without knowing. She said she would have been much more embarrassed if she eventually found out from another member in a rude way. The whole experience taught me that awkward conversations aren’t always bad conversations. Sometimes people genuinely don’t realize how their behavior affects others, and a respectful heads-up can solve the problem without turning it into a personal attack. I also realized how important the way you communicate something can be. If I had approached her jokingly or made the situation sound sexual or humiliating, the conversation could have gone terribly. Instead, I treated it as a simple gym-etiquette issue. She understood, adjusted her workout habits, and continued coming to the gym without any further problems. In the end, it was uncomfortable for a few minutes, but being honest and respectful turned out to be much better than allowing the awkward situation to continue.
Read Story…
“WIBTA if I told the woman at my gym that she moans when she runs?”
The original poster (OP) explained:
“Some context: I (22 year old female) have been working out at my current gym for almost 5 years and have been employed there for 2 1/2 years. I have moved in rank pretty quickly here and have a somewhat managerial position.”
“This woman (late 50s or early 60s) has been working out here probably longer than I have, but only visits in the summer time with her husband. She’s a very nice person and a committed gym-goer, but she runs on the treadmill for 30-40 minutes and moans the entire time.”
“And when I say she moans, I promise I am not being dramatic. It legit sounds like someone is playing porn in here when she’s running.”
“I believe she has headphones in, but I’m not sure because she wears her hair down and has pretty long hair. I’m also not the only person who notices and who it bothers.”
“I have had many people bring it up awkwardly and even my boss has said something about it. Of course, no one wants to say anything because of how uncomfortable it is, but I legit can’t take it.”
“The sound makes me physically uncomfortable and I have to walk away from my post just to feel OK. We’re also a small, family-owned gym, so the rules are pretty basic and aren’t posted anywhere, but we definitely don’t appreciate unnecessary noises.”
“I don’t know what to do because my boss doesn’t seem to want to say anything and obviously I don’t either, but I’m at my breaking point. Hearing this sound makes me want to die and I can’t express that enough!”
“Should I say something and has anyone else experienced something similar?”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- INFO – more information needed
Redditors decided there were no a**holes here (NAH).
“Go up to her, mid-moan, and ask her if she’s OK. When she asks why you’re asking, tell her she was making odd noises that sounded like she was in distress. She can’t be mad at you if you look like you’re coming from a place of concern.” ~ not-the-name-i-chose
“Phrasing it as ‘noises of pain, struggle, or discomfort’ is probably a way safer option than implying any kind of sexual side.” ~ spaghettifiasco
“True. Just make sure the way you phrase your concern is professional as much as possible. So she wouldn’t take offense. The tone is very important here.” ~ IceSeeker
“I agree with this. Probably don’t use the word ‘moan’ when you talk to her.” ~ snorkie
“And they could very well come from discomfort. When I’m in severe pain, I make pain sounds that could be interpreted as moaning that way if someone didn’t know what was going on.” ~ DianeJudith
“This conversation kinda reminds me of the baby shower game where you get pictures of women’s faces and you have to guess whether they’re in labor or a porn video. The line between pain and pleasure is razor thin, I guess.” ~ HedgieObsessor
“Audio record her and then put it on a drive and tape it to the locker with typed note, in a sealed envelope with the note, ‘dear ma’am this is how you sound, and it’s disrupting others please stop or go else where, signed everyone’.”
“I am JOKING!”
“The ‘are you OK’ is a question not an accusation or something to be misinterpreted or twisted. That’s so uncomfortable, how does she not know, or care ~212Aurora
“It’s the same thing with those gym bros grunting like they’re full on sh*tting their pants where it’s like… Dude are you okay? Did you tear something?”
“I don’t know, it’s just inconsiderate, if you’re gonna be that loud and weird just work out in your garage or something. Ultimately you’re subjecting the people around you to something that they didn’t ask for or consent to.”
“If you don’t know how to behave in a public space like a normal person, I don’t give a sh*t about politely and privately making them feel embarrassed. Some have no situational awareness until they’re directly told.” ~ dikicker
“I used this exactly at work once. I work in a hotel (though this was my previous hotel) as a night auditor. The lobby was a four-story atrium, with rooms directly attached to it on floors 2-4. So if there was enough noise in any one of those 24 or so rooms, it could be heard in the entire lobby, as it acted as an echo chamber.”
“It’s why I had to make sure no one was hanging out in the lobby and making noise past 10pm. It also funneled noise directly down the hall.”
“Well one night, some guy comes in with a woman and they go up to their room. Barely noticed. 10 minutes later, I hear what sounds like screaming or moaning. At first, I wasn’t sure, but it sure sounds like what you think it is. I could hear it from the back office, so anyone awake in a lobby room can probably hear it in their rooms too.”
“It goes on for a few minutes while I try to figure out where it’s coming from, but it stops before I can. 45 minutes later it starts up again and I’m able to figure out which room it’s coming from, third floor lobby, right above the front desk. It’s loud, so I can’t let it keep going on, but I don’t want to just knock and go ‘stop having sex!’ So I knock frantically, and ask ‘Hello? Is everyone okay in there? I heard screaming. I just want to make sure no is hurt’.”
“No response, but the moaning stops. I wait for a minute and no one answers the door, so I went back to the front desk. 10 minutes later, the lady I saw go up with the guy earlier comes back down, her fur coat open so I can see she’s pretty scantily dressed underneath.”
“She waits around the lobby for a few minutes, looking at her phone, before a car pulls up and she goes and gets in it. I checked the guy’s reservation and it was a comped room from the local casino. So she was a prostitute making everyone in the hotel their audience.”
“But yeah, I found the best way to minimize the awkwardness is to pretend you don’t hear it as a sexual thing and just act like a concerned good Samaritan.” ~ vonsnootingham
“The problem with this is she will just say she is fine and keep on doing it.” ~ hotcapicola
“NAH, since many other people have complained about it, I think you’re within your right to say something to her. She’s probably unaware, and even if she’s not, everyone has a responsibility to keep communal spaces like gyms relatively quiet so as not to bother other people.”
“I do think you need to clear it with your boss first though, so that if she complains to someone about it you won’t get in trouble.Also! You don’t have to phrase it as ‘moaning’ if you actually talk to her, you could just tell her that other patrons have filed complaints that she’s making an excessive amount of noise.”
“That should be enough to get the idea across without having to tell her that it sounds sexually explicit, since that could be perceived by her as you being a creep.” ~ cowboythesis
After getting the feedback they requested, OP provided a response:
“I did not expect this post to get so much traction. This was my first time posting on Reddit and this was lowkey way too much lol. I appreciate all the well thought out advice and honest feedback.”
“I most likely won’t say anything to her directly, but will inform my boss about how much of an issue it really is and ask him to finally handle it. To those saying to use headphones, I’m at work and have to able to hear phone calls or knocks at the door.”
“I’ll also make sure we get rules posted somewhere so that this can be taken care of better in the future.”
“To all those who made weird or rude comments, please touch grass and socialize with real people.”
“Thank you Reddit for what you do, but I’m never posting again!”
OP got their answer and plenty of advice. How they handle the situation from here is up to them.
“I Noticed a Woman Making Loud Noises While Running at the Gym”
I never expected one of the most awkward situations I would ever deal with at work to involve telling a gym member that she was making unusually loud sounds while running. I work at a busy fitness center where I see all kinds of people every day. Some members are quiet and focused, some talk to their friends throughout their workouts, and others make plenty of noise when they are lifting heavy weights or pushing themselves during cardio. Most of the time, nobody cares because everyone has different exercise habits. A few weeks ago, though, I started noticing one particular woman who regularly used the treadmill during the evening rush. She was clearly committed to her workouts and seemed to take her running very seriously. She would warm up for a few minutes before gradually increasing her speed, and once she reached a certain pace, she became extremely vocal. She would moan, grunt, and make loud breathing sounds while running. At first, I didn’t think much of it because people make strange noises when they’re exercising.
After seeing her several times, however, I realized that this wasn’t an occasional thing. The sounds were consistent and loud enough to carry across the entire treadmill area. Sometimes I could hear her from the front desk even though the treadmills were on the other side of the gym. At first, I assumed she was simply breathing heavily because she was pushing herself hard. There was nothing inherently wrong with that. In fact, I respected how seriously she approached her workouts. She wasn’t bothering anyone intentionally, and she seemed completely focused on improving her fitness. But eventually I began noticing other members reacting to the noise. People would glance over at her, exchange looks with each other, or adjust their headphones. One person even moved to a treadmill farther away. Nobody directly complained, but as an employee, I started wondering whether I had a responsibility to say something.
The problem was that I had no idea how to approach the subject without embarrassing her. There are certain things you can tell a customer quite easily. If someone leaves equipment covered in sweat, you can politely remind them to wipe it down. If someone is using a machine incorrectly, you can explain how to use it safely. If someone leaves weights lying around, you can ask them to put them back. But telling a woman that she was moaning loudly while running felt completely different. I didn’t want her to think I was making a personal or inappropriate comment about her. I especially didn’t want to make her self-conscious about exercising. Going to a gym can already be intimidating for some people, and the last thing I wanted was to make someone feel embarrassed about something they couldn’t easily control.
I decided to observe the situation a little longer before saying anything. I didn’t want to react based on one unusually intense workout. Maybe she was having a particularly difficult day. Maybe she had recently increased her running speed. Maybe she was training for something. So I paid attention over the next several visits. Every time she came in, the same pattern happened. She would start quietly, increase her pace, and then gradually become louder as she pushed herself. The sounds weren’t sexual or intentional. They were more like involuntary vocal reactions to physical effort, mixed with heavy breathing and occasional grunts. That distinction was important to me because I didn’t want to describe her behavior in a way that could make the situation more embarrassing than it needed to be.
One evening, I mentioned the situation to another female employee during a quiet moment at the front desk. I expected her to laugh and tell me that I was overthinking it. Instead, she immediately knew who I was talking about. She had noticed the same thing. She said that she had also wondered whether someone should tell the woman because several members seemed distracted by it. We talked about different ways of approaching her. The more we discussed it, the more awkward every possible sentence sounded. We agreed that the best approach would be to keep it completely professional and focus on the volume rather than the specific type of sound. We didn’t want to joke about it or make it sound like something inappropriate. We just wanted her to know that she was louder than she probably realized.
A few days later, one of the gym members finally approached the front desk. She asked whether there was anything staff could do about “the noise on the treadmills.” I asked what she meant, and she explained that someone had been making loud vocal sounds during their runs and that it was distracting her. She wasn’t angry, and she actually apologized for complaining. She said she didn’t want to be rude because she understood that people sometimes make noises while exercising. I told her I understood and that I would look into it. That conversation made me realize that the issue had moved beyond something I had simply noticed. It was now affecting other members enough that someone had felt the need to mention it.
I still didn’t want to embarrass the woman, so I waited for an appropriate opportunity. I knew I shouldn’t approach her while she was running because that could be dangerous and humiliating. Instead, I waited until she finished her workout and stepped away from the treadmill. She was wiping down the equipment when I walked over. I introduced myself even though she had seen me at the front desk many times. I told her I wanted to mention something about the treadmill area, but I warned her that it was slightly awkward. She immediately looked concerned and asked whether she had done something wrong. I told her no and explained that I simply wanted to make her aware of something she might not realize.
I carefully explained that when she ran at high intensity, her vocal sounds and breathing became quite loud. I avoided using words that could make the conversation sound personal or embarrassing. I told her that making noise while exercising wasn’t against the rules and that I wasn’t telling her she couldn’t breathe heavily or grunt. I simply wanted her to know that the volume was noticeable to other people. I also told her that a few members had looked distracted, and I thought it would be better for her to know rather than continue without realizing it. I kept my tone calm and professional because I knew that even a small joke could make the situation much worse.
Her expression changed immediately. She looked shocked and asked, “Really?” I nodded and told her that I wasn’t trying to make her feel bad. She said she had absolutely no idea. She explained that when she was running, she became completely focused on her breathing and pace, so she wasn’t aware of the sounds she was making. She assumed the music, treadmills, conversations, and other gym noise covered everything. She also said that nobody had ever mentioned it before. I reassured her that she hadn’t done anything terrible and that I understood why she wouldn’t have known. She seemed embarrassed, but she was also surprisingly calm about it.
She then asked whether people had been complaining about her. I told her that there hadn’t been a flood of formal complaints, but I had personally noticed reactions from other members and at least one person had mentioned the noise to staff. I didn’t give her names because I didn’t want her to start feeling like everyone at the gym was talking about her. I explained that most people probably weren’t judging her. They were simply surprised by the volume. She nodded and said she appreciated me telling her directly. She told me she would try to be more aware of it during future workouts.
I could tell she was still embarrassed, so I tried to make it clear that she didn’t need to feel ashamed about exercising intensely. I told her that people grunt, breathe heavily, and make all kinds of noises when they push their bodies. The goal wasn’t to make her afraid of making any sound at all. The issue was simply that the noise was unusually loud in a shared space. I wanted her to leave the conversation understanding that she wasn’t being punished or judged. She thanked me and said she was actually glad I had told her because she would rather know than accidentally annoy people without realizing it.
After she left, I wondered whether I had handled the conversation correctly. I replayed every sentence in my head and worried that maybe I had made her feel worse than necessary. Another employee told me that I had handled it professionally and that avoiding the conversation would probably have been worse in the long run. She pointed out that if the woman eventually heard a rude comment from another member, she might feel much more embarrassed. At least now she had received the information privately from someone who was trying to help. That made me feel better about the decision.
The next time the woman came into the gym, I noticed she seemed slightly nervous when she approached the treadmill. I worried that my conversation had made her uncomfortable enough to change her routine. She started running, but she was much quieter than before. I could tell she was consciously monitoring herself. After a few minutes, though, she seemed to relax and focus on her workout again. She wasn’t completely silent, and I didn’t expect her to be. She simply wasn’t making the same level of noise as before. I was relieved because I didn’t want my conversation to discourage her from exercising.
Later that evening, she came to the front desk and thanked me again. She told me that she had been thinking about what I said and had realized that she probably had been louder than she thought. She said she had actually asked a friend about it, and her friend laughed before admitting that she had heard the same thing. That made her laugh too. She said knowing it wasn’t something terrible helped her stop feeling embarrassed. She also told me that she appreciated being told privately instead of being mocked by another gym member.
That interaction made me realize how much difference the delivery of criticism can make. If someone had walked up to her and shouted, “Stop moaning,” she probably would have been humiliated. If someone had laughed at her while she was running, she might never have wanted to come back. Even a joking comment could have made her feel uncomfortable. But when the issue was explained as a simple matter of gym etiquette, she was able to understand it without feeling attacked. The problem wasn’t necessarily the existence of noise. It was the effect the volume had on other people in a shared environment.
I also thought about how difficult it can be for gym employees to enforce unwritten social expectations. Gyms are unusual places because people are allowed to make noise while exercising. Someone lifting a heavy weight may grunt loudly. Someone sprinting on a treadmill may breathe heavily. Someone doing an intense workout may shout occasionally. Staff can’t realistically police every sound. There has to be some reasonable distinction between normal exercise noises and behavior that becomes disruptive. In this situation, I felt the repeated and unusually loud nature of the sounds was what made it worth mentioning.
Some people might argue that other gym members should simply wear headphones and mind their own business. I understand that perspective. Nobody has the right to expect complete silence in a fitness center. But a shared space also requires some awareness of other people. If someone’s behavior is unusually loud and repeatedly distracting others, a polite conversation can be reasonable. The key is not to shame the person or make assumptions about why they are making the sounds. You can address the practical issue without turning it into a personal judgment.
A few days later, another member told me that the treadmill area had become noticeably quieter. I didn’t know whether she was talking about the same woman, but I had a feeling she was. I simply smiled and said that everyone had been very considerate lately. I didn’t want to discuss the woman with anyone because her privacy mattered. I also didn’t want the situation to turn into gossip. From my perspective, once the issue had been addressed, there was no reason for anyone else to know about the conversation.
The woman continued coming to the gym regularly. She seemed much more comfortable after a couple of workouts. She still made occasional noises when she pushed herself, but they were much less noticeable. More importantly, she didn’t seem afraid to exercise hard. That was something I was happy about. I would have felt terrible if she had stopped running because she thought everyone was watching or judging her. The entire purpose of the conversation was to make her aware of the environment, not to make her feel like she didn’t belong there.
Looking back, I think the hardest part wasn’t telling her about the noise. It was overcoming my fear that I would make the situation sound inappropriate. The words people use can completely change how a conversation feels. Saying that someone is making “loud vocal sounds while exercising” is very different from making jokes about the type of noises they’re making. As an employee, I had to remind myself that my job was to communicate a simple concern professionally. Once I stopped overthinking it, the conversation became much easier.
The experience also reminded me that people often have no idea how they appear or sound to others. We all develop habits that feel completely normal because we’re used to them. Sometimes it takes another person pointing them out before we realize they’re noticeable. That doesn’t automatically mean the habit is bad. It simply means awareness gives us the opportunity to decide whether we want to change it. In this case, the woman chose to adjust her volume because she didn’t want to distract other members, and that was enough to solve the problem.
I never found out whether she was embarrassed for more than a few days, but based on how she behaved afterward, I don’t think the conversation damaged her confidence. If anything, she seemed grateful that someone had treated her respectfully. She told me that she would have hated finding out through a rude joke or a group of people laughing at her. I told her that was exactly why I had waited for a private moment. Nobody deserves to be humiliated over something they didn’t realize they were doing.
In the end, the situation taught me that awkward conversations don’t necessarily have to become uncomfortable disasters. Sometimes the most respectful thing you can do is tell someone the truth gently and privately. I could have ignored the situation and hoped it went away, but other members were already becoming distracted, and eventually someone probably would have said something much less politely. By approaching her calmly, I gave her the information without turning her into the subject of a joke. She was able to adjust her workout without feeling like she had done something horrible.
Now whenever I see someone struggling through a difficult workout, I try to remember that everyone has their own way of exercising. Some people are quiet, some are loud, and some become extremely vocal when they push themselves. There isn’t necessarily anything wrong with that. But when you’re sharing a public space, a little awareness can go a long way. The woman didn’t need to stop running, and she didn’t need to feel ashamed. She simply needed to know that her workout was louder than she realized. Once she knew, she made her own decision about how to handle it, and the problem was solved without a confrontation. For what initially felt like one of the most awkward conversations I could possibly have at work, it ended up being a surprisingly simple lesson in communication, privacy, and basic consideration for other people.
